(Weddign Recap) The Ceremony!

September 14, 2011 8 Comments

Finally the time came to walk down the aisle, exchange vows & rings, and officially become husband & wife!

From my spot out of sight in the balcony, I got a good look at the crowd gathering:

 

The chuppah translates to mean “covering” or “protection” and symbolizes the new home of the married couple.  It represents our desire for our home to be under the protection of God.  The marriage ceremony in Jewish faith cannot take place without a covering and four poles.

I remember standing at the top of the stairs, sneaking a peak and waving at friends who noticed me.  I listened to Wachet Auf lead our bridal party to their positions.  I heard the laughter and “awws,” telling me my niece successfully made her flower girl debut.

I popped my head phones in and half listened to the chorus of Lady Gaga’s Just Dance, to get me amp’d. Truth be told: I needed no help; my nerves turned over themselves, tears welled up in my eyes.  I heard the first chords of Pachelbel’s Canon softly hit the air, just as I learned to play it on the piano around age 10.

Mike began his way to the chuppah with his mom and dad on either side.

When I successfully memorized Pachelbel’s Canon way back when, I knew it would guide me to my groom in the future.  And here I was.
The music filled the air as I saw our wedding planner motion for me to start down the stairs.  Surprisingly, instead of don’t fall don’t fall don’t fall I thought This is it.

 This is it.
My wedding!
Our wedding.

My dad waited for me at the bottom, with the biggest smile on his face.  He whispered to me how gorgeous I looked.  Blinking back tears, beyond my veil I saw so many familiar faces, all in one place, all smiling back at me.  So much love. Amazing.

As I approached Mike, I saw, with out any doubt, the happiest expression to ever grace his face.  I wanted to kiss him right then and there! (I also love his brother’s face in the background)

Then I began the Seven Circles around my groom.  The seven circles represent my bond to him, just as the Teffelin straps are wrapped around a man’s arm.  Also the number seven nods towards the complexity of the creation of the world, just as marriage reenacts the creative process.  Interestingly, some couples share the seven circles, taking turns rotating around each other.  We went traditional and I tried not to get too dizzy and fall down as I went around him seven times. For those of you wondering, the rabbi counted for me.

In Jewish faith there are actually two parts to the marriage ceremony: Kiddushin (Betrothal) and Nisuin (Nuptials). “Both parts are introduced with the benediction over wine, the traditional symbol of joy and abundance. The bride and groom each take a sip of the wine for each.” {taken from The Jewish Wedding Guide}

 

During the Kiddushin we exchanged rings, by placing them on each other’s right index finger.  Apparently, long ago one used their right index finger to make a mark or signature. 

I’m honestly so excited right here.

During the Nissuin the rabbi recited seven blessings over us, love, friendship, and completeness amongst them.  
We shared our own vows here.  And let me tell you, I thought we had this one covered, but…
Well, using a stock “fill in the blank” with sentence starters, we both had the same 8 statements to make.  I added a little bit to mine and so did Mike.  We had our bridesmaid and close friend, Kathryn, read them both to ensure we were on the same wavelength and literal length.  Kat encouraged me to add a little more, but it didn’t feel natural.  
After I read my half page and felt pretty proud of myself.  Then seeing Mike pull out two pages just about made me gasp out loud.  He wrote and read the most heartfelt words.  I give him a lot of strife for not being “mushy.”  Not anymore!
(And so much for trying to be on the same page – I guess you can’t put a limit on love!)

Our rabbi read our ketuba and hand it to me.  I “own” it now. It’s mine, all mine!
Finally, after the second cup of wine, hot veil was lifted off my face.  
The last thing left to do: break the glass!
The breaking of the glass can be a reminder of the fragility of life and also an affirmation that in times of happiness there should be a touch of seriousness.  It signifies that we are still mourning over the destruction of the Holy Temple of Jerusalem.  It also serves as a reminder of the sanctity of marriage.  A broken glass cannot be mended. 
We shouted “Mazel Tov!” (good luck!)

and kissed!

We were married!
Husband & Wife.
beautiful.

{all photos taken by Studio Juno photography}
Filed Under: attendants, awesomeness, bridesmaids dresses, Carnegie Institute, chuppah, Judaism, kosher, officiant, recap, ring, the big day, traditions, veil

Prenuptial Counseling

January 3, 2011 5 Comments

We met with our Rabbi recently for round 1 of 3 of Prenuptial Counseling. This is the same Rabbi who converted me, so I feel completely comfortable with him. Because I studied extensively with him, many of the things he normally talks about with couples we already covered (like what it means to live in a Jewish home, & belonging to a synagogue).  So we brought up tons of questions we have about the ceremony.
And after only 30 minutes we ran out of things to talk about.  I’m not kidding.
He suggested that for next time we write down things we think of, and bring that list with us.

Here are a few main things we discussed:

The Sheva Berakhot (literally “the seven blessings”)
This is the real meat of the Jewish marriage ceremony.  These seven blessings praise G-d and wish joy upon the bride and groom.  They are said under the Chuppah and again after dinner.  What we need to decide is who will say these blessings. We are considering how to give the honor of saying this blessings to friends and family while not taking forever.  These blessings can be said and given out in a number of ways.

Way 1) Allow 7 different Jewish people to say the blessings in Hebrew followed by 7 people (of any religion) saying the translation in English.  This way takes a long time and adds about 20 minutes on to the ceremony, considering everyone has to get up from their seat, go up to the front, say their bit, then sit down again.  It’s nice, but is it practical?

Way 2) Allow 7 Jewish people to say the blessings in Hebrew, with the translation following – OR the Rabbi says the translations

Way 3) The Rabbi says it all, along with the traslations.

Remember, the Sheva Berakhot are said at two different moments.  It is possible to do it one way (have the Rabbi say it all) during the ceremony and then after dinner allow for more participation.

The Wedding Rings
As you know, I already designed and purchased my wedding ring.  But it’s not kosher. Literally.
See, the ring needs to be plain, without engraving, frills, or stones.  This is to show that the ring has no perceivable ending point. It is round and unending, just as the love between husband and wife. Also Mike needs to own the ring, so that when the rabbi asks “who owns this ring” which is about to be put on my hand, Mike can without a doubt say “I do.”  So my ring has stones and I own it.  Mike is going to buy me a plain, pretty band.  Interestingly there is no need for Mike to have a ring, but we’re modern and want to roll like that, so he’s getting one.  Plus we need a way for him to fend off the ladies once we’re married, right?!

My Shoulders
Without saying too much about my dress, I was worried my shoulders needed to be covered while under the Chuppah… or that I needed to be wrapped head to toe in fabric. (to be slightly more conservative, ya know?) Our Rabbi said so long as I am comfortable and not falling out of my dress, I am fine. 

Anyone have more questions for us to bring to the rabbi for Session Two of Prenuptial Counseling?

Filed Under: BlogBook, ceremony, chuppah, officiant, ring, traditions, wedding dress

Always check first

October 4, 2010 6 Comments

My wedding band is ready for pick up! Simultaneously I received an email from our Rabbi who is officiating the wedding, with a detailed list of things to know, including this:

The first line mentions a “plain gold band” for a wedding ring.

So, oops on our part.
You might remember the ring I “commissioned” our jeweler to make, is not plain nor solid.
Mike’s cousin, Laurie, who leads the Hill Havurah pretty much already told us this – but we already ordered the ring at that time. (Hi Laurie!)

So what to do?
Well, duh, just get another!
I looked online at a few sites and found a plain white gold 2mm ring for less than $75.
No, that does not mean I am getting rid of my envisioned ring.
Yes, instead, that means I will have 2 wedding rings:  one plain white gold, the other my sapphire and diamond beauty!  The plain one will be used under the Chuppah, the other will be a gift of sorts.

I guess I learned that you should always check first before making any big purchases, wedding related.
However, I always wanted a diamond/sapphire band, so I’m not sure my decision would change!

I will be featuring more of the Rabbi’s list of wedding requirements in future posts (aka let’s see if I can follow directions).

Have you made any decisions and then come to find out checking first would save you time and money?

{PS:  Our friends Erik and Deanna currently live overseas in Kazakhstan, where Erik works for the Foreign Service/US Gov’t.  However, Deanna is already back in the states, anticipating are their little one’s arrival on Oct 22, and Erik will be back shortly.  I’m writing all this because they told me my blog is blocked in Kazakhstan!  I wanted to give them a state-side welcome and best wishes on the arrival of their baby! Hi guys!}

Filed Under: BlogBook, officiant, ring, wedding

Rings, a second time around – Part 2

September 2, 2010 6 Comments
Please sign up for my Simple Green Giveaway: 7 Bottles of Cleaner! (easy to enter!)
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{For Part 1}

Over the weekend, Mike and I visited our favorite jewelers, commissioning him to create our wedding bands.  He drafted my magnificent creation, but we were over budget.

So, I asked a question that will forever change how I look at jewelry.

No, it’s not “Can we do Cubic Zirconium instead?”

Nor is it “Can I trade my first born for a good rate?”

 

It was a rather simple question:

 ”Is there anyway we could reduce the cost?”

Keith said he would never make this suggestion, but when someone asks he knows that it’s OK to put this on the table.
Normally this kind of thing scares people away, he cautioned.

He asked if I cared if the stones were new.
I didn’t get it.
New as in fresh out of the mine?
New as in just born? Do diamonds/jewels do that?

He pulled out massive trays, one at a time.  Each held about 50 previously worn rings.  Either people’s marriages failed, passed away, or needed the extra cash.  One way or another these wedding bands all had a history and now spent their days in a safe.

First we looked at the bands to see if there was anything exactly like I wanted.  Of course their wasn’t, which made me loosen up to the idea a bit.  While I like the idea of the cost being cheaper, I was a little wary of wearing someone’s old wedding ring.  I wanted my own.

Then Keith explained he was still going to create my own, unique ring.  He would melt down gold for me, to create the brand new band.  Then he would take stones from other sources and put them in my band.  These stones were from rings that we were looking at now – or random single pairs of earrings, broken bracelets, and forgotten treasures.  Keith said he needed to look into what he had in the back and would let us know the next day.

On Monday, we got the great call I was waiting for: Keith had all the necessary stones, of great quality, natural and not laboratory made, for my band.  Not only could he do it, but he could do it for half the cost of a brand new ring from the catalog.  All because I’m OK with previously worn stones.

See, the truth behind it is this:  these stones still retain their value, even for being sold a second time around.   They still have their same worth, even though they might not be “new.” I’m giving these stones a second chance at love.
They are being used to create something special and new for me.  To me, their past doesn’t matter – it’s my new ring that will stand as a symbol of my unity with Mike.
If it means giving these old stones a new chance, to cut costs, then why not?
It’s not like anyone’s going to come looking for them.  It’s not like anyone will know they are “gently used” either.  When you look at my ring all you will see is my love for Mike.

Old and new, somewhat-borrowed with a touch of blue: it’s my ring, my love.

Filed Under: BlogBook, love, Mike, ring, wedding

Rings, a second time around – Part 1

September 1, 2010 6 Comments
Please sign up for my Simple Green Giveaway: 7 Bottles of Cleaner! (easy to enter!)
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Mike and I both know which wedding bands/rings we want.  We also know our budget.  The major retailers shockingly manage to fall way beyond our means, but gave us good ideas and sent us in the right direction (away from their scary prices).

We headed out to the jeweler where Mike bought my engagement ring. If you had pointed out this little store, located in the corner of a strip mall on a busy highway and told me, “That’s where your engagement and wedding rings will come from” I would probably run straight back to the scary major retailers.  The Diamond Exchange USA not only has a generic name but the hole-in-the-wall of a store surely screams “scam.”  Except they are everything BUT that.  Why waste money on a flashy website, catchy store name, or ritzy store?  It’s obvious this small, family owned store values their quality of work and staff more than all those other things.  And because of that, they were not only able to meet our budget, but create our one of a kind rings for us!
(Or at least we hope…. read on..)

In fact, Mike did exactly that with my engagement ring. First chose the stone: a diamond based on color, clarity, cut and carat.  Then Keith, the jeweler, set it in a band of Mike’s choosing.  Essentially Mike designed my ring.

The best part about this store is their honesty.  Mike went into the store knowing he wanted to buy my engagement ring and did his online research first.  Keith directed him through the whole process and the good customer service and good people resulted in a great price and a very happy fiance.

But I digress: wedding bands.
We went back to The Diamond Exchange USA (the whole name is fun to say) and saw their variety of bands.  Keith is able to replicate almost anything on display, at a lower cost.  He’s talented like that.  Mike chose a simple band, with no brushing (as he previously liked) but instead with etched rims on it.  It’s hard to explain, you’ll have to wait until June to see it! We ordered it in palladium, which is actually less expensive than gold now and better quality than tungsten and titanium.

For my ring, Keith will create my white gold, channel set diamond and sapphire beauty.  First we looked at the options in the store, none of which had sapphires in them.  The .5 total carat weight (TCW) seemed to overpower my size 4.5 ring finger.  The .25 TCW left me wanting more.  We decided on 7 stones (4 diamonds, 3 sapphires) of .4 TCW.  When Keith totaled both rings, we were shocked to find out we were over budget.

I was so sad.  I thought for sure everything would work out with Keith on our side.
Then I asked the question that will forever change how I look at jewelry.

 {source}

{Because this post is epic, please see Part 2 tomorrow for the conclusion}

Filed Under: BlogBook, Mike, ring, wedding

Ring Bling

August 10, 2010 8 Comments

Picture this: five jewelry stores, two starry-eyed impressionable twenty-somethings, one budget.

This past weekend Mike and I went wedding ring shopping. 

If only more opportunities to shop for my own bling, of worthy value, exist.  I enjoy the respect commanded when you walk into a jeweler and ask to see their wedding rings.  Immediately they show you the way and ask what you want in a ring.  They also glance at the woman’s left hand, to get an idea of your price range, I’m sure.  Not as enjoyable.  However it did lure great complements, and a free cleaning.  I also saw my diamond under a magnifier. Shiny

A few things learned:

Men’s rings:  The selection of materials boils down to four main metals:  titanium, tungsten, gold, and the platinum family (to include palladium).
-Stainless steel is also available, lower on the price scale.
-Above that, tungsten falls as the rarity of the metal becomes more scarce, but the price is still competitive. Warning: you cannot cut tungsten.  If it gets stuck, then you’re stuck.
-Titanium is slightly more expensive, but still on a affordable scale.  Recently, titanium rose in popularity for it’s durability, cost, and dark gray coloring. The same ‘no-cut’ warning applies to titanium.
-In gold, the higher the karat the higher the value (24K is pure gold, as the numbers reduce, the gold parts reduce – as signified by the number preceding the K).
-Platinum runs the most expensive.
 There are many styles. Mike prefers a simple, brushed band with satin edging.  Also in considering the life of the ring, getting it stuck on your finger presents cause for worry when you physically cannot cut it off!  We will most likely choose a gold ring for this reason. (please don’t cut my future husband’s finger off to save his life if the ring gets stuck!)

For women, the metals listed above are available for plain rings.  Most wedding bands for women come in gold and platinum, though.  The design possibilities are endless.  Plain bands can be dome or flat. Dome bands are raised, flat are, uh, not raised (like the one pictured above).  Stones can be added by prong set (prongs grab and display stones) or channel set (the band holds the stones inside it, like a channel).  The total carat weight of the stones (tw = total weight) is listed.

There is also the “wrap” option where a band wraps around your current engagement ring, giving the illusion of one ring.  The two rings come together and can even be soldered.  In this case, wearing your wedding band without the engagement ring then looks odd, as there is no engagement ring in the center. 

After looking at many bands, I found the technical term for what I like: a channel set, 1/2 carat total weight of stones, alternating sapphires and diamonds, in white gold.  My birthstone is the sapphire, which I love (understatement).

  {source}
We found a jeweler who said they could make both items for us at exactly our price point!  The cost of gold right now is high, so she could only guarantee the price for one month.  We had her write it down, just to be safe.
We also plan on visiting the jeweler who made my engagement ring, to see what he can do for us.  Plus we like him and want to give him our money, I mean business.  Hopefully he likes us as much and wants to go below our price point.
We have a direction and a promising jeweler already. (And we are ahead of schedule!) 
WOOT!

What does your ring look like, or what would you design your ring to look like?

Filed Under: BlogBook, ring, wedding

Untitled

March 13, 2010 Leave a Comment

Just as pubescent girl succumbs to the straps of her training-bra, seemingly so oddly placed and in need of constant adjustment, I too no longer notice ‘it‘.  I remember first trying to wear those things and how they just bothered me.  Why adorn this thing that stands as a derailment of my youth?  Now I no longer think twice and rather notice if ‘it‘ is not there.
The same, sadly, happened with my ring.  (No, I  did not loose it.) 
The first time I tried on my engagement ring was magical.  I stared at it forever, so shiny.  I even wore  it over my glove (it needed to be sized), easily flashing my new favorite piece of jewelry to everyone who asked, or didn’t. But honestly the band bothered me. Not the style, or color, or any aesthetic detail, rather it stuck out as a new object I needed to get accustomed to wearing.  The thickness oddly rubbed between my fingers and my mind was always on the fact that it was there.  Someone told me that 4 prong rings hold diamonds less perfectly than 6 prongs.  I then became obsessed with checking to make sure the diamond was still there, that the prongs still held my precious.
Now, twice, I looked down at my left hand to make sure the sparkle remained and it winked back at me.  I expected not to see it.  I felt like it was gone, but it was there.  My hand, body, and mind accept this once foreign object as a permanent resident.  Instead of second guessing it fell off, I know my ring, my symbol of betrothal, I know it’s there.
However, I now notice when I take it off, if I take it off.  My hand, body, and mind expect this ring to remain on my hand.  I feel naked without it.
I look forward to putting on a wedding band and the feeling of newness and adjustment.  Mostly, I look forward to never taking it off and noticing when I do.  I anticipate the feeling of knowing those symbols stand for my commitment to Mike and our bond of togetherness, forever.  I love it, just as I love Mike.

Now pass along this link and vote for us to win a $100K wedding!
A few more venue posts to come, after this weekend of dress hunting with my sister!

Filed Under: BlogBook, love, ring

The Bling

March 4, 2010 2 Comments

I mean, the ring…

Interesting little story here.  Did you expect any less?
So Mike and I both get our hairs-cut  at VSL Salon in Dupont.  A colleague recommended David to me and my hair has never seen a bad cut.  He does amazing things with my hair, knows it and me so well.  David, my stylist of 5 years, has graciously agreed to do my hair for TBD (The Big Day). But I digress.  Mike sees Eve, who happens to be David’s BFF!  The two are inseparable as far as stylist and friends go, and Mike and I are so lucky to call them ‘ours.’
Eve recently got engaged too!  As I understand it, Eve had a big say in the her ring and found her rock at a locally owned/operated store.  She told Mike of this place, gave him a name to drop, and they had some good quality haircutting-conversations leading up to Mike’s purchase.  A HUGE THANK YOU goes out to Eve for her guidance to Mike.  Because of her, I have this:

 
Is it tacky to mention that my Dharma is bigger than a carat?   Because she is.  And yes, you read that right.  I named my diamond.  Dharma the non-materialistic diamond.
 I luuuurrve her.
And you bet she’s insured!
Please VOTE for us to win!
Filed Under: blog for entry, BlogBook, ring

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