It’s true, my doctor has tourettes.
Medical professionals take their work seriously, so I take my doctor seriously.
But do you know how hard it is to look your GYN in eye when his arm is flailing about?
And yes I’m really writing about this.
For eight years I loved this medical practice and still respect them. However, every year when it comes time for my annual I hem and haw over making that appointment. What woman doesn’t? Some people love the trip to the dentist, but no one loves a trip to be checked out down there. Now add the extra thought of having to muster up the patience to hear what this man is trying to say as he controls his tics, pulls his head back to look at you, and fumbles with the pen and Rx pad many times. Yeah, that.
This doctor was forthright with his disability, for lack of a better word. While wearing a paper gown in an examine room, the first time I met him he tried to shake my hand and settled for a warm smile and the words, “I have tourettes.” At first this scared me: what if he pokes me unintentionally? What if he yells a curse word while buried in the depths of my lady parts? What if he drops my va’gine?!
Alas these exaggerated concerns were just that.
Every time I see my GYN I’m reminded of why I go: for my health and well-being. This man is so nice, he genuinely cares. He doesn’t make small talk while he’s doing his job (ahem, thank goodness, because AWKWARD!), he does what’s necessary then we talk in his office. Whew.
Still, the repeated motions, the uncontrollable head-bops, the hand that has to hold the other hand down – these things are a little, um, weird when all the other doctors seem just fine. (Sidenote, my pediatrician passed away from Hep B. See what I mean about “seem just fine”??) Then he makes it all seem normal with the offhand comment about how coffee makes his condition worse, but who can live without coffee? This man speaks truth. He’ll launch into a 5 minute story about how he unintentionally scared some poor, unsuspecting college student while twitchy on the metro and then we’re erupting with laughter from his office so loudly, a nurse comes to see what’s funny. The LGTB community gave him a special award for years running, too, which proudly hangs next to a picture of a funny baby comic on his wall. This man legit loves his job and doesn’t allow his life to get in his way. He embraces it and does his job well, and for that reason I keep coming back…maybe for the entertainment which lightens the process.
But one day I’m afraid a few curse words might be heard at an inappropriate moment. Then I’ll be all, “Wait, what?! What’s so bad down there?!” Also for obvious reasons the letters “OB” do not precede his “GYN” — no baby dropping here.
So I guess until that day I’m still on board. However I can always say, “Remember my GYN who had tourettes?” Yeah, it makes for an interesting trip to the doctors and always a story afterwards.