Bromance can be fierce.
I laugh and cry at how catty girls get, at times, but when a man forms a true friendship with another man? That bromance sticks stronger than crazy glue.
Take, for example, Adam and Dan*. When my ex, Dan, and I broke up my former roommate, Adam, stood by his friend. Adam comforted Dan, got drunk with Dan, and trash talked me. Adam logically took Dan’s side since their time together dated back to high school. Their bond ran deep. They were bros.
This silly girl knew that, but it hurt non-the-less when Adam slung harsh words my way. He stuck up for his friend. He stood by his friend. He relinquished ties with me, as a friend.
I realized I hurt Dan, and Adam let me know that.
But Adam and I had once lived together in a group rental during what I call “the 2nd best semester of college.” Long story short, I ended up repeating that semester due to many reasons, Adam moved back home, and the other 2 roommates had their share of adventures, too. We had a blast together! We were roomies, but not bros.
Then, so quickly, Adam forgot all those good times, in favor of helping his friend. I struggled with this and tried to talk reasonably with Adam. Adam wouldn’t have it. I hurt his friend, his bro. There was no turning back for us as roomies or friends.
I moved on, sadly, from that friendship. I accepted and understood that bromance ties were stronger.
Five years ago today a friend called and left a message saying I needed to call her back right away.
We are the friends who keep in touch over Facebook, not phone. Also I rarely listen to voice-mails and then return calls (note this: texting is the quickest way to reach me).
But I picked up the phone and she told me Adam died in a terrible accident.
He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, caught between a misfiring gun and a man aiming at someone else.
I still struggle with Adam’s loss. I never rectified his feelings of malcontent towards me. He passed thinking less of me.
However I remember Adam’s strong friendship with others, his bromance with his best friend, and the friendship we did share. Through that I realized even when our friendship thrived and failed, Adam still cared for me. Adam cared so strongly for others, stood up for them, and lived with a passion for life.
When I think of Adam’s loss, I also think of his strong ties with others. So many people were affected by his death in many ways. I think of his parents, his brother, and his friends. The world lost a truly good person with a heart of gold.
I think back on my time with Adam and the fun times we shared.
His passing taught me to never walk away from a friendship, never to leave things on bad terms, but to always respect others’ feelings.
and bromance? You can’t compete with that, but you can honor it.
Adam Carlton Emling , Oct 12, 1982 – July 14, 2007
*name change because I’m not a total douche