To Have and To Hold

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In about 3 weeks our one year anniversary takes place.  I proudly announce our normalcy: our first year of marriage has been very straightforward.  Things happened or don’t happen, and we are both happy and not hating each other.  It’s like nothing ever changed, aside from the title of husband & wife. I call that success!

Recently, however, this husband and wife combo faced our first true compromise*.  I’m not referencing what to make for dinner or even what show to watch on TV. I’m talking serious, potentially-life changing, decision-making (side note: nothing to worry about and no babies on the horizon).  And it was sobering.

Without going into details, but focusing on the larger idea-at-hand, it really caused a long discussion, one that is still currently on-going.  But I realized quickly that in marriage this is no longer a one-person decision.  The things one person desires effect the other person greatly.  There was a part of me early on that realized had this been a non-committed relationship, one of us might have hypothetically bailed and made our own choices.  But no, we are in a loving, considerate, long-term, and bound relationship with each other.  We are not about to take our selfish wants and head off in that direction without first consulting and taking into account our spouse.  And even then, even after consulting our companion, we must listen and truly hear that person.  We must think about the needs of another before our desires, and with our desires. We put each other first, with-in ourselves.

Only in presenting our concerns and truly holding the other person’s needs into our own, do we reach a true compromise based on love.  We want the best for each other.  We put ourselves on the line.  We act out of love . We have no one but the other, to have and to hold.

That has been the greatest lesson I learned in our first year of marriage:

We actively live out the vows we promised to each other a year ago, and will continue to do so, ’til death do us part.

photo copyright Studio Juno

*I’ll go into detail later when I feel personally ready. promise.

Song(s) of the Moment

My name is Vicki and I have a pop-music related ringtone problem.

whew.

That felt good to get off my chest.

 

If you live within earshot of my cellphone, it’s no secret I love to apply hip, trendy songs as my ringtone.  If it’s on the top 10 list, then you’re free to joke about hearing it when someone calls me. and my friends do this regularly.

Rhianna’s Umbrella {ella ella ella} started this trend.

Then some Britney Spears’ random song took over (remember when she *tried* to come back?).

For awhile I broke the trend with the 30 Rock themesong. {dun dun, dun dundundun dun dun, dun dun dundun dun…doo doo doo doodoo doo doo do da do <–just like that}

Then I broke into chick rock with some Florence + the Machine’s Dog Days Are Over and some KT Tunstall’s Suddenly I See for a hot second, each.

I even mixed things up with some hip hop when I had Chris Brown (featuring Lil Wayne & Busta)  Look at Me Now, which I loved but had to pick up before the curse words rang out.

As of recently the random-phone-provided-electronic-song plays and I simply can’t pick a new pop song, because I ruin every song for myself (and all my friends)!  It gets so much radio play, then I hear it whenever anyone calls me, and GAH. enough of the pop songs.

But right now I desperately want to apply Gotye’s Somebody That I Used to Know.

I resist, because I know what that will do to the song, and what the radio has already done to that song.

If only I could get the one part when the backup singers sort-of yell out, “Somebody!”  Because that would be grand. and funny. and totally not weird.

 

I think I help these songs become played out.

So, halp.  What song should be my new ringtone that is not already played on the radio 500bagillion times?

What ringtones are your favorite?

The Sound of Silence

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I love and I hate cemeteries.  They cause me to feel, to think, and to want to run away at the same time.  Cemeteries are so beautiful and so scary at the same time.  Perhaps this juxtaposition make the headstones perfect photography subjects and the heart so heavy.

If you find yourself at Arlington National Cemetery, the heart grows heavier and the mind wanders far thinking of the sheer number of people laid to rest there, and the circumstances of how they got there.  I researched the “rules” of eligibility for burial in Arlington National Cemetery after seeing wives laid to rest next to their servicemen husbands.  Keeping the family together made my heart pleased yet sullen.

And so, now that I provoked all that thinking and feeling, here are some photos I took last weekend on our visit to Arlington.

Remembering our Servicemen and women over this Memorial Day Weekend and always…

We come, not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. -Francis A. Walker

My husband, the master!

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Mike graduated with his Master’s in International Affairs, on Friday.

Mike’s mom flew in Thursday night, then we met up with Mike’s dad and his wife to watch Mike walk with his school Friday day.  Since GWU’s graduating student population is so gosh-darn-large (DC has a lot of smart people living in it), each separate school within the greater George Washington University holds their own “smaller” ceremony.  It’s only a three plus hours long “smaller” ceremony. The students in each school hear their names called this way and walk to receive their medal and diploma.  Sidenote: think about how many days it might take if they did a giant graduation and called every name… Back on track now. I love that Mike has an elementary-school-participation-award-looking medal. It’s totally grad-school tuition legit.

All kidding aside, I’m so proud of my husband.  I doubt I could endure 2 more years of school to further myself (says the teacher)!

Thanks to all our family and friends who helped celebrate this weekend.  Now that Mike’s the “master” of the house, we’ll let him pick up the tab, next time…

Pomp & Cirumstance

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I’m proud of my husband every day, but especially today as he graduates with his Master’s of Arts in International Affairs.  He’s smart and stuff.

Stay tuned for more pictures of this proud moment!