In about 3 weeks our one year anniversary takes place. I proudly announce our normalcy: our first year of marriage has been very straightforward. Things happened or don’t happen, and we are both happy and not hating each other. It’s like nothing ever changed, aside from the title of husband & wife. I call that success!
Recently, however, this husband and wife combo faced our first true compromise*. I’m not referencing what to make for dinner or even what show to watch on TV. I’m talking serious, potentially-life changing, decision-making (side note: nothing to worry about and no babies on the horizon). And it was sobering.
Without going into details, but focusing on the larger idea-at-hand, it really caused a long discussion, one that is still currently on-going. But I realized quickly that in marriage this is no longer a one-person decision. The things one person desires effect the other person greatly. There was a part of me early on that realized had this been a non-committed relationship, one of us might have hypothetically bailed and made our own choices. But no, we are in a loving, considerate, long-term, and bound relationship with each other. We are not about to take our selfish wants and head off in that direction without first consulting and taking into account our spouse. And even then, even after consulting our companion, we must listen and truly hear that person. We must think about the needs of another before our desires, and with our desires. We put each other first, with-in ourselves.
Only in presenting our concerns and truly holding the other person’s needs into our own, do we reach a true compromise based on love. We want the best for each other. We put ourselves on the line. We act out of love . We have no one but the other, to have and to hold.
That has been the greatest lesson I learned in our first year of marriage:
We actively live out the vows we promised to each other a year ago, and will continue to do so, ’til death do us part.
photo copyright Studio Juno
*I’ll go into detail later when I feel personally ready. promise.