Four Agreements


It’s been one of those weeks.

You know what I’m talking about.

“Challenging” barely scrapes the surface describing the difficulties faced…


I’m not going into it, though.

My personal trainer, who seems to be training more than just my muscles, asked if I knew about the Four Agreements.

As my mind started turning, I came up with nothing.

Four Agreements?  Four apostles? Four vodkas?  Geeze, what?!


She explained…

The Four Agreements to Practical Personal Freedom were written as a guide to furthering yourself in the workplace, with friendships, in life and overall:

1) “Be impeccable with your word”

  • My take: I know myself.  I talk about others’ goings on…  I’m being honest, here. I don’t always speak kindly, but I’m simply working through things.  I’m talking through things, about things, about others…and trying to not gossip…But what fun is that? Oh, right… it’s hurtful. and it hurts me, too.

2) “Don’t take anything personally”

  • ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  That hypothetical interview question, about your biggest flaw in the workplace?  Mine is always that I CARE TOO MUCH!  I care to a fault. I take everything to heart.  When working with children this is beautiful, and also a huge burden.  How can I not take what I do, personally? Isn’t that the point? Why do anything if you don’t back it, personally?  But I see the message.  I get the meaning.  If only… if only…

3)  “Don’t make assumptions”

  • I know what she’s thinking…. Because I did ___ they probably think____ …. She’s acting from this POV since she thinks I did ____ …. She wants to do ___ because I did ____ …. He’s feeling ___ because I ____ … She’s mad because I ____…They don’t understand I ____ ….She didn’t have time to___ so now I have to ___ … She doesn’t appreciate me… They don’t get where I’m coming from… They don’t like me…They don’t have time for me… Why do I put others before me…

 4) “Always do your best”

  • THIS.  My parents told me this since the day I started fending for myself.  I put my best foot forward. I honestly can say I don’t stop until my best is done.  My work is my life. My friendships are my blood. My love is my all.  My life is everything I have to give.  Because if something is not your best? it’s not worth doing.  I don’t do anything half-assed.  Anything worth doing is worth doing well – TEN fold.


If you can say 1) Your word is impeccable, 2) You don’t take it personally, 3)You don’t make assumptions, and 4) You’ve done your best  — THEN all is ok.  Everything is worth it.

There is nothing more to do if you can agree to those four items.

Because at the end of the day, if those four agreements are covered?

You’re golden.


I looked back on this week of challenges (*Valentine’s Day aside*). I might not be able to say “yes” to the four agreements, but I will be able to in the future — because they are worth remembering and worth living to help me strive for a better tomorrow.

My word. My self. My understanding. My best.


Which of those is the hardest for you??

(For me: not taking it personally!!)

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  • Joanna

    Always hard not to talk about someone, not necessarily “bad” about someone. Although, I always say “NEVER assume things because it makes an ass out of u and me” ;) get it? hehehe It has been a tough week for me too, so I know what you mean!

    • CrowndVic

      Oh, I can hear my mom now… “ass out of you and me” ;)

  • Nicci @ Changing the Universe

    I’m sorry you had a sucky week :( You know I’m always a text away if you need anything!

    And I really like these agreements! I can’t say that I can answer yes to all of them on a weekly or even daily basis. But I think it’s a really awesome thing to strive for!

    The hardest for me? Honestly, probably all of them. I talk about people behind their back, then assume they are saying similar mean things about me, which I then take personally, LOL! I really need to learn to take a step back and really look at why I’m saying/thinking these things, you know?

    • CrowndVic

      Taking that step back is tough! but I agree, you gotta do it!!

  • Amy Metherell

    So sorry you had a bad week!!

    This is the first I’ve heard of the Four Agreements. But I like them! I’m pretty good with #1 (can always improve, though). #2, well, I’m getting better at that. # 3 is probably my worst. I assume everything and try so hard not to. I think I will make this my 2012 goal – to stop assuming. And #4, well, I can honestly say I don’t always do my best. I might say I’ve done my best at something, but sometimes I do just enough to get by. I need to work on that one too.

    • CrowndVic

      Ugh assumptions are the WORST! but you just start thinking and the next thing you know, you’ve formed some conclusion….
      Sometimes doing enough to get by is your best at that moment, so don’t be too hard on yourself!

  • Kassi @ Truly Lovely

    Here’s hoping you’re weekend is better and brighter! Sorry this one wasn’t so much… Those are never any fun!!! Mine is taking it personal too… I let little things that would be stupid to other people ruin my whole day. I think about them over and over trying to convince myself that it doesn’t matter when it clearly does or I wouldn’t be so stressed about it… When you figure out how to be better at that, please share it with me!!!

    • CrowndVic

      Thanks, darlin’! I think the key to not taking things personally is to realize that people will be people and so long as you try your best, the rest doesn’t matter! (at least this is what I’ve been trying to tell myself!!)

  • Ada

    Those agreements are so smart, but so *hard* too! I hope things start looking up soon. Sorry to hear it was a bummer week!

    • CrowndVic

      It’s been much better now that I’ve tried to stop taking it so seriously!! ;D