
I love watching these comical (and somewhat overdone) videos which parody the typical statements said by groups of people. From Shit Girls Say, to Shit Christians Say to Jews (a personal fav) and even the local Shit People in DC Say, inspiration fell to me.
However, even though Mike owns a dress and a wig, he refuses to indulge me and make a “Shit My Wife/Vicki Says” video. I also lack the ability to film and act in my own video. That ruined my own chance of making a video.
Instead I bring you a list of Shit My Husband Says.*
*I love my husband very much. This was created with love and humor and with no meaning to do harm. Just for funsies. And he’ll probably want to do one back at me, which I accept and welcome!
(and I hope you will comment with some of your hubby’s isms, too!)
- I need a nosh.
- There’s no good games on TV right now.
- “Oh Bagel, doo doo doo” (<–There’s a song about bagels?!)
- Grab me a beer?
- I need to do my reading for class, first.
- I guess I’ll take the dog for a walk.
- At least someone takes care of the dog.
- Is it really my day to empty the litterbox?
- Etsy will survive without you.
- Why can’t we sit after dinner? Why must we clean right away?
- That’s dirty?
- Oh, the Mets!
- Damn the Packers!
- Really, Mets? Really?!
- Your face is ________ (a retort to whatever I just said)
- This level is so hard to beat.
- [Random yelling at the TV]
- How can you go to sleep before 1:30?
- I hate mornings.
- At least the dog likes to cuddle.
- Why is there Scentsy everywhere?
- Bathroom time! (Why do men announce this?!)
- Son of a motherless &@$%!
- That’s what you get for making me put away the laundry.
- You’re tired? Really?
- Turn it up!
- Does this match?
- You’re just jealous of my style.
- Shuttupa your face!
- The Mets are doomed.
- I just got killed [in this video game] because you were talking to me.
- Ew, vodka?
- Tequilla tastes like old socks.
- You spent how much?
Hrm, when I think about it – most of these things are about me! huh!
Does your husband have any tag lines?





Living in our nation's capital allows me to learn something new every day. So does teaching 2nd graders. My nose piercing and tattoos keep me from normalcy, while my job and religion keep me grounded.


