It started young, as it usually does with a mother-daughter relationships.
My mom imposed her healthy habits on us, never having too much sugar in the house and always pushing encouraging vitamins. The well rounded meals she cooked were never too heavy on the starches, and rice-a-roni was a rare treat. And Lucky Charms or Entiments’s Cheese Crumb Coffee Cake? The most prized treat in the pantry!
But as I grew up, and continued to take those vitamins, we butted-heads like two rams on a high cliff. My teenage years, riddled with emotions, caused much strife between my mom and me. The only things we had in common anymore was shopping. (Which obviously is not a bad thing to share, unless you argue about the clothes).
Moving away to college allowed me my freedom I strove to obtain, and a break from vitamins. I started to realize I needed my mom more than I wanted to admit. However recently, with wedding planning, I’ve found my mom’s support to be the utmost calming factor. Only recently can I accept that she means well, wants the best for me, and strives to support me, amidst all the emotions.
I know many of my mommy-friends say having their children allowed them to see their mom as she always wanted to be seen. I can imagine that precious moment when you as a daughter-now-mother, strive to be that mother your mom was to you.
Yesterday, as I struggled with a particular moment on the roller coaster of emotions from wedding planning, I called my mom. I simply wanted to let her know the latest and she simply listened. Her ease in handling the situation calmed me. Then she said the best thing I ever heard her say, “Do whatever you want. It’s your wedding. Do whatever makes you happiest.” She didn’t question my motive. She didn’t remind me of any moral to be learned. She was there for me.
As I took my vitamins this morning, all six of them out of the daily pill dispenser, this post started writing itself in my head. Not only have I started to become my mother, but I found that beautiful balance in our relationship.
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