I have a secret.

Psst.
I have a secret.
It’s not so much of a secret, as a blatant truth that I refuse to recognize:

I’m getting a little nervous.

I’m not getting full-blown, freak-out nervous – just a teensie bit excited, apprehensive and worried sort-of nervous.  Ya know, the kind you get when you are really looking forward to something BIG and WONDERFUL that also comes with TONS of planning?

Before, June 19, 2011 seemed so far away.  It falls at the end of my school year.  It happens after fall, winter, and even spring.
AND it’s in 2011.

But now?
Now we are half way through the school year. The students just shared their holiday sharing performances.  Fall passed and we are well into winter.  Of course I look forward to spring, although I love wearing my boots.  And don’t even remind me that 2011 is just right over there.  I can almost touch it.
Which means I can almost visualize the snow melting.
I can imagine those last days of the school year.

But I cannot wrap my head around my wedding happening in six months!
In six months my name will change.
In six months I will have what I dreamed about for years.
In six months I’ll be a WIFE, and have a HUSBAND.
In six months Mike and I will have a union stronger than this silly fear that plagues me.

I just want to know that everything will be done and look pretty.
Is that too much to ask?
We’re on target with planning and doing a good job of it too, if I do say so myself.
But somehow that doesn’t squelch my anxiety.

(On Thursday my parents are throwing us an engagement party in Florida.  The wine will be flowing.
Oh yes, the wine will be flowing.)

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